I am by no means an expert on love. I have, however, been married for over five years to a woman that I’ve been good friends with for over 10 years. During that time, we’ve been together through good times and bad; we’ve lived under the same roof together and we’ve lived several states apart. Through it all, I’ve learned a few things about love and relationships, of which three are below.
1. Laugh with each other. I first learned about the importance of being able to make people laugh in grade school and high school. I had a couple of friends who seemed to have no problems at all talking to girls and finding dates. When I asked what their secrets were, both conveyed a version of the answer, “just make them laugh and they’ll like you.” I’ve since come to appreciate the additional importance of being able to laugh together with people you love. Laughter is wonderful, stress relieving, and might even have real health benefits. Life is already too weird, serious, and complicated to not spend a fair amount of time laughing at all the ironies, idiosyncrasies, and just plain funny stuff that happens every day. Today, share a laugh with someone you love.
2. Cook for each other. They say that women love a man who knows how to cook, but I think the real value of being able to cook for someone runs far deeper than that. My wife has been known to say that I express my love for others through food - and she is right. Above and beyond the creative endeavor that is preparing a well-planned meal for someone, there is something special and powerful about one person providing nourishment to another. Food is a gift and it is so basic to our human existence. The preparation and giving of food to others is an expression of love. Today, share a meal with someone you love.
3. Appreciate each other. A former colleague of mine who is a clinical psychologist once told me that most relationships fall apart because people start to take each other for granted and they fail to appreciate each other the way that they should (and perhaps did at one point in time). As human beings, we are fortunate to be able to quickly acclimate to a number of different environmental conditions. That is to say that we can get used to new things pretty quickly. One thing we should never get used to, however, is the people around us and what they do for us on a daily basis. Today, tell someone who you love that you appreciate them.
Valentine’s Day is not just for romantic relationships. Today, think about all of the people you love - and don’t forget sometime to make them laugh, cook a meal for them, and tell them how much you appreciate having them in your life.
Beth, I love you. I appreciate all that you do for me. And, dinner will be ready around 6 tonight. Happy Valentine’s Day.